Hip has a Cadaver Quiz. After answering twenty questions, they tote up your worth.
Mingle2 - Online Dating
Hrmph. Well, since that won't really dent my debts, I guess offing myself isn't a good option at the mo'. They didn't ask about how many gold teeth I have, though.
I'm crabby.
I don't like being crabby. I mean, I don't like being perpetually crabby, and it seems like I am that. I don't mind being crabby every now and again, and using it to good advantage, but ... unceasing, chronic crabbiness is just not pleasant. Peeps will start seeking to avoid me, soon. That won't be good.
Today my crabbitude concerns this:
1. The company my company hired to handle its 401(k) and pension benefits stuff is structured so as to provide maximal pain when you have something you would like them to do. They'll fuck up legal documents, and then take forever to get back to you when you tell them to fix their errors, and then never leave call back numbers, but manage to call you when you're not around and leave messages that they tried to call you.
2. My cell phone company changed my text messaging options but did not tell me they were helpfully doing this for me. This made it impossible for me to get text message notification of voice mails left on my office phone -- something everyone else I work with enjoys, but not me because my cell phone provider helped me, see.
3. I bought a Bluetooth© module off of e-bay. I checked, before buying it, to make sure it was compatible with my car stereo -- the new one I just had installed. I triple checked. I got it in the mail. I scheduled some time off of work to have Best Buy install it for me. They wanted $70 for this. If I knew how to disassemble and reassemble the console in my car, I'd install it myself -- it involves plugging the module in, and routing the microphone. I took the car in. The guy called me 45 minutes later and said "your Bluetooth© module is not compatible with your stereo." Yes it is, I told him. "No, it's not. It isn't listed in the manual." It is compatible. I checked. He refused. I came back and picked up my car, which he hadn't even pulled into the bay to look at. He showed me where in the manual it neglected to list my stereo. I showed him where in the manual it indicated that newer model stereos that were compatible were listed on their website and told him that my stereo was made after this module, dur. He said he was out of time and had another appointment. He did not charge me for the 40 minutes of him scratching his ass.
4. I discovered there are too many screws holding the console molding together in my car, it's hot in my garage, and it's almost worth $70 to have some high school drop-out do it, but said drop out is apparently too stupid to deal with.
At least my dogs are cute.
[Update] No, I haven't killed the pimply-assed teen. Didn't even muss his hair. I did, however, locate a web site that provides installation instructions for a variety of in-dash items for the make, model, and year of my vehicle. The install docs contain detailed diagrams and instructions for disassembling and assembling the dash console, so, yay! Today I am less crabby.
I just posted this on an internal company newsgroup. I hope it works, as it will make my job as a manager much easier.
Okay, Peeps. Lissen up. I just had a disconcerting revelation and I need to make some changes, here.
A friend of mine was talking about "Type A" personalities.
"They're organized."
I gulped. I'm organized, but I'm no type A.
"They are morning people."
I shifted my feet. I am a morning person, but I'm no Type A.
"They're aggressive."
Whew! Thank goodness! I'm not aggre....
My friend begged to differ and pointed out how pushy I can be.
Pushy. Me.
I was voted "Least likely to ever utter a word" in high school. My sixth grade teacher -- honest to God -- wrote on a report back to my parents "Smart, but I would really like it if she would just get up on her desk and shout! She's too withdrawn!"
Then I did a little heartfelt self examination and discovered that over the years I have indeed had to become aggressive and pushy. I've had to rant. I've had to make ... demands. I've had to tell
people what I expected of them, and then make "tsk" sounds at them when they didn't do what I expected.
This is distressing to me, and I expect the entire company to now change in order to help me stop being pushy and aggressive.
Here is my plan:
1. Read my mind
2. Do what I want you to do
3. Tell me you've done it.
'k?
The concept of service has had all of the life sucked from it.
I've ranted about corporate-based "Customer Service" and phone 'bots and such like. This is along those same lines, but taken to ridiculous new lows.
There was a water spill in the building where I work. It was in a break area. Lots of people walk into and out of that break area. I discovered it an early morning hour, before there were too many people. I found the source of the leak and stopped it. I found wads of paper towels and threw them on the floor. I found a marker, a piece of paper, and a handy trash can and penned "CAUTION WET FLOOR DO NOT SLIP" and taped the sign to the can and placed it in front of the wads of paper towels.
Then I went in search of custodial service.
I found a sign with a 1-888 number to call for custodial service in the place where there used to be a person. I used my personal cell phone to call the 1-888 number, and a person in a distant part of the world answered. His name might have been Rajeev. I related my issue. He asked for my phone number. I gave him my desk phone number, expecting that he would then ask for where the spill had occurred. You know. Part of the world, state, building code, area number, etc.?
Nope. He said, "Someone will get in touch with you" and he hung up.
I was on a teleconference using my desk phone. How, exactly, would someone get in touch with me? Why could he not have taken down the information and dispatched a person with a mop as soon as possible?
I went to the web site that the sign had also indicated, and saw that I could open a trouble ticket using the web. I filled in all the information, including the fact that I had just called someone and was not able to provide location information during the call. The web site cheerfully informed me the service call would be routed and my department would be billed $1000.
When my teleconference meeting ended, I got up and went to the break room. There were more sodden paper towels on the floor, and lots of wet footprints, but no sign of clean-up. No sign of a person with a mop. I tossed even more towels on the floor and went back to my desk.
I called the 1-888 number again. I ranted about how no one seemed to be mopping up the spill, someone might slip and sue the company and then the company would sue them for failing to provide contracted services. I ranted about how no one had taken the proper information down and how they were attempting to charge us $1000 for a mop-up. Pavarthy assured me that the $1000 was just an estimate and apologized and assured me, also, that she would have the work order routed very quickly.
Three hours later, a woman called me.
"Choo khav espill?"
"Yes, in the break room near me."
"Where es espill?"
I gave her the location for the break room.
"Where thees pliss?"
I gave her directions to the break room.
"Hokay. I go mop espill."
A few moments later, I saw a woman with a bucket and a mop. She picked up all the sodden paper towels, but there was nothing left to mop up.
"Espill all gone!"
I nodded.
"I choos get teeket for work. I be here fast, but they not give teeket until chess now."
I nodded.
"Hokay." She rolled her bucket out of the room. A few moments later she joined the now very large crowd of custodial persons who were taking their break in a different break room.
Anna of Cleves got the royal shaft. She came all the way to England to become the fourth wife of Henry VIII. Once married to Anna, he refused to consummate the marriage, and called her the "Flanders Mare". Talk about a burn, considering that by this time, Henry was the fattest man in England and had a rotting syphilis sore on his leg.
Anna was miffed, but she was too sensible to let it ruin her fun. She was given an annulment and a fat yearly allowance, and she threw extravagant parties and dined on delicacies for the rest of her life.
Which of Henry VIII's wives are you?
this quiz was made by Lori Fury
Linky-lurve thingie:
Snarfled from A Cool Change, who swiped it from Jenna.
Holy Butter Steamed Escargot! It seems that some Ozzies can't stomach opinions, making pounding freedom of speech using the civil courts as your meat mallet a palatable proposition.
Australian food critics were left spluttering into their napkins yesterday after a court decided that an unfavourable review of a Sydney restaurant was defamatory, opening the way for the owners to claim damages. [...] The case centres on a review of Coco Roco restaurant published in the Sydney Morning Herald newspaper in 2003. Matthew Evans, then the newspaper's chief food critic, dined at the restaurant twice and was not impressed. He said the flavour of oysters soaked in limoncello "jangled like a car crash" and that a sherry scented apricot white sauce that accompanied steak was a "wretched garnish" that he scraped off. [...] Coco Roco closed three months after the review and the owners, who had spent more than A$3m (｣1.3m) refitting the restaurant, blamed it on the reviewer, saying that customers had been put off by Evans' words.
All I can say is that the next time one of my kids turns up his or her nose at my Caribbean Rissoto With Tofu Casserole, his or her ass will be sued and then sauteed, I swear.
This one seems dodgy, but who could resist?
Eat six cookies a day (plus a meal) and lose weight.
Linda Hoover said she tried numerous diets without results before stumbling upon the Cookie Diet. She's been eating six cookies a day for about a month and said she's lost 17 pounds.
The diet is 800 calories a day.
I don't care what you eat, if all you eat is 800 calories and you're not, like, 80 pounds to start with, then you're going to lose weight.
But here's the clincher: you spend $250 to get into the program, then buy your daily protein cookies at $7 a pop. Might be worth it to some, but as far as I'm concerned, if you're limiting your daily caloric intake to 800 calories, you're endangering yourself and probably setting yourself up to yo-yo right back into the plus sizes.
I'd love to see someone do a story on one of these diets a year after they stopped.
I amMystique (64%)
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I'm not about to get all cranked up about this, but the topic perked my ears a few days back when a news program I look at as I exercise in the morning did a brief segment on it. It concerns those wheeled sneakers you see kids wearing. Little rollerskate wheels embedded in the heels of the shooz, so a kid rocks back and glides along.
Injuries from trendy roller shoes are far more numerous than previously thought, contributing to about 1,600 emergency room visits last year, the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission said Wednesday. [...] The update follows new safety advice posted online Tuesday by the American Academy of Orthopaedic Surgeons, which recommends helmets, wrist protectors and knee and elbow pads for kids who wear wheeled shoes. [...] Heelys, the most popular brand, are sold in 70 countries. They're made by Carrollton, Texas-based Heelys Inc. The shoes feature removable wheels in each heel that pop out when wearers shift their weight to their heels. [...] "The injury rate of using wheeled footwear has not increased in the past 15 months. More wheeled shoes are being sold and so, as you would expect, more incidents are being reported," said [Edward Heiden, president of Heiden Associates, a product safety consulting firm that Heelys hired to study the shoes].
Heelys reported in April that a Heiden Associates analysis of data from the government's product safety commission showed the shoes have a lower injury rate than many other sports, including skateboarding, inline skating and even swimming.
Heiden said the new numbers confirm that previous analysis, "which tells us using wheeled footwear is 42 times safer than basketball, 29 times safer than bicycling, and 18 times safer than skateboarding."
The news program I was watching mentioned that the bulk of the e-room visits were from novices.
You and I grew up with roller skates. Probably clip-ons that you'd snap to your shoes. No helmets. No wrist guards. Some injuries, mostly skinned knees, probably. Usually when we were just figuring out how to use them, occasionally from hitting a crack in the sidewalk, or a piece of gravel.
My kids grew up with blades -- we made 'em wear helmets and wrist guards at first because you can build up such a high speed that when you DO fall, you're more likely to break something.
But these things? I've seen kids in them. They don't go all that fast. Yes, they are more prone to falling, and if they wear these daily, use them as wheelies often, then they increase their chances of falling down. And some of them will be worth a trip to the emergency room.
My brother broke his wrists while playing. My neighbor's daughter chipped her teeth and required oral surgery, while playing. They were running, jumping, skipping. One kid was slammed into his lockers and suffered a broken collar bone when some other kids ran past and accidentally shoved him aside. Injuries happen.
If I were the parent of a tween with a desire for a pair of these, I think I'd just train the kid -- break 'em in in a safe environment, then teach the child the usual cautions of watching out for broken pavement, being cautious around sidewalks near gravelled yards, etc. Because I know that kid isn't gonna be wearing a helmet and wrist braces just because I say they should.
whoozTalkin?