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September 10, 2007
When is it just plain ridiculous?
Poasted by gekko at 1:03 PM and filed under 
"Eruditus Opinionatus"
A friend of mine wants his name on his vanity plate. He lucked out when the last guy to have the name on a plate in his state died and his widow decided not to renew the plate, relinquishing the four letters back into the bin. The state DMV notified my friend that the plate was now available (he put himself on a wait list for it). He applied. The rep initially approved it.
Then it was turned down.
Why?
Because his name is, apparently, offensive. See, it's a variation of the name "Richard." The guy's a Dick. He has been known by that name his entire life, does business with that name, appears on television using that name, ran for local office with that name and shares that name with many politicians and celebrities. Why, one dick is first in line to lead our country if the bush becomes incapacitated. The media unabashedly prints and speaks that foul word many times a day.
Of course, every Peter, Willie and Wang knows that "Dick" isn't a name at all, but a slang word for male genitalia, right?
Vermont's DMV has decided to crack down on these important matters following a lost case in which a religious rights group took up arms in a suit in federal court over the "right" to use a reference to a bible verse on a vanity plate.
Shawn Byrne tried to get JOHN316, was turned down, appealed, turned down, sued and the Arizona-based Alliance Defense Fund, a conservative organization that states it defends religious liberty as represented by attorney Joshua Carden took up his case. This is old news, but it is the one that has the state of Vermont looking to ensure no one offends anyone with their license plate.
Carden said his client is only seeking to uphold his rights to free expression on his license plate."We're not seeking big money damages," he said.
According to the lawsuit, Byrne applied to the state DMV for a vanity plate on April 20, for his Ford pickup.
The application asked for Byrne to list three choices for his vanity plate. Byrne listed, "JOHN316," "JN316" and "JN36TN." The application also asked Byrne what each selection represented, and in each case he wrote, "Bible passage."
[...]A month after applying for the plate Byrne received notice from the state DMV stating that all three requests had been turned down.
"It has been deemed to be a combination that refers to deity and has been denied based on that reason," the letter read.
Byrne appealed, but an administrative judge upheld the denial, the lawsuit stated.
The law allows DMV to reject a word or phrase considered offensive or confusing to the general public.
The regulations state that license plates are not be allowed to have a combination of letters or numbers that refer to any language to race, religion, color, deity, ethnic heritage, gender, sexual orientation, disability status or political affiliation.
-- Driver sues state for rejecting religious license plate: Rutland Herald Online
The Feds disagreed that it was a First Amendment issue. He doesn't have a fundamental right to "speak" via his license plate. So it's really up to the states to make a list of things they don't like and then stick to that list. And Vermont is very much sticking Dick.
I wonder, though, if maybe these bureaucratic nanny types don't go too far overboard. A vanity plate is, after all, something special to the individual. Its intent is to garner extra income to the state while permitting people to uniquely identify themselves. Some attempts are intended to shock or offend -- like I wouldn't see a non-offensive use of the word "cunt", would you? Yet the whole notion that the same driver who can put a fish on his car will suddenly offend someone if his plate refers to God is a bit extreme. Is the state promoting religion because they took money in order to print something to the specification of the customer? A guy everyone in the community calls "Dick" to his face is going to be offended if his car says "Dick" on it?
Does that not seem a bit over the top to you?
Tagz: Naughty, Society, Stupidity
11 comments make for a lot of heat
"I wonder, though, if maybe these bureaucratic nanny types don't go too far overboard."
Yer funny! Of course they do. This is the biggest bunch of essaitcheyetee I've ever heard!
"Hi! We're from the government, and we're here to help you, whether you want it or not, and whether it actually helps or not!"
Jeez Louize, WTF is wrong with people? And why should anyone have to say what the selections represent? WHOSE BUSINESS IS IT???
That's not the case in Michigan. I have a vanity plate and all I had to do was make sure the name I chose wasn't taken. And I ended up with Dick! Isn't that just too funny??
Okay, I didn't really, but I didn't have to tell anyone why I wanted it and neither should anyone else. The world's going to hell in a handbasket.
it has always been my dream to legally change my name to Fuck.
someday, when i can afford the lawyers, i'm going to do so.
even if i have to argue it all the way to the fucking supreme court.
I'll suggest a seven letter word,
which would fit nicely:
J O H N S O N
- -
Okay,
Father Luke
Cali plate I saw on way home today:
FUGAWWE
Of course you realize this is part of the phrase, Where the fugawwe???
DICK is available in Vermont.
DICK is not available in Florida.
Hmmmmmm.
A couple of weeks before this saga began, I bought a "Keys Car," a Chrysler LeBaron convertible, from a fellow in southern Vermont. I need a car down south so my original plan was to skip Vermont registration and send all the docs down to Florida.
Except I've always wanted former local Ford Dealer Dick Wright's "DICK" plate. His widow, Kelly, kept it after he died. Put it on a Toyota, I think, which would have had him chewing on the coffin lid for sure. She has moved to (where else) Florida.
I drove in to the DMV outpost and did the deed. The DICK isn't in the mail though.
Vermont DMV sent me a form letter. "THE CHOICE YOU WANTED HAS BEEN REJECTED," the letter informed me, "BECAUSE IT IS A SLANG REFERENCE TO GENITALIA. PLEASE MAKE ANOTHER CHOICE OR LET US KNOW IF YOU WANT REGULAR PLATES."
Now wait just a darned minute. I called DMV before I registered the car; they said the plate was available and the name did not appear on their "dirty word list." And I know Dick Wright had it for years.
As the named Dick in this blog epic, I might mention that the Feds long ago ruled that a vanity plate is not a public forum, so this ain't a free speech issue (a license plate is issued as an identifier by the state, so the state can pretty much decide what goes on it).
I took a different tack when they refused to give me the DICK plate.
I appealed on the basis of prior offer, precedent, and most importantly, viewpoint discrimination.
Here's the Evidence:
This case is an example of what can happen when law and common sense depart.
Anyway, I had an 18 minute hearing this week. I gave 27 exhibits, bits of case law, and precedents. I can expect a written decision in about 3 weeks.
I am, naturally, the first case to come to appeal since the The Arizona-based Alliance Defense Fund lost a case in Federal court over John 3:16. The hearing examiner did say the DMV has been a lot more assertive since then.
Anyway, I gave him plenty of reason to rule in my favor. Since he didn't turn me down on the spot, there may be a slim chance he will.
BTW, delete the "not" if you want to send money to the legal defense fund. Or to my haircut fund.
Clearly the problem is simply that you're the wrong Dick, while the other guy was the Wright Dick.
Good luck, hope you prevail.
BTW, some other plates I've personally seen that I wonder how the hell they passed the morality police:
QQQQ2 (Fuck you 2)
SCHEEIT (Shit)
SXRXRR (Sex and drugs and rock and roll)
The FUGAWWE mentioned above.
I still say this whole thing is just flat out riDICKulous.
Yeah! How can the state DICKtate this kind of morality?
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You can't use "cunt". But "SueAnt" would be OK. That's what a girl I used to know called people. As in "She's such a SueAnt." "SueAnt?" I'd ask, "WTF?"
"Yeah," she'd say. "C - U - N - T; That's what it spells. 'SueAnt'."
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(I always loved cunning linguists.)