Spoilin' for a fight

I knew it was a solicitation sort of call, because the caller ID said "Out of Area" and gave a funky phone number that could not exist in the world's telephone numbering scheme. And, when I answered, there was a lengthy space of silence. That's a dead give-away.

I'm on the National Do Not Call Registry. I have been since that started, and have renewed it. I hate telemarketing calls. I hate any unsolicited calls that are not from friends or family.

The silence was followed by a spurt of white noise as the dialing 'bot registered my response and clicked over to the telemarketer guy, and a fuzzy, accented voice that sounded distantly digitized asked, "May I speak with <the younger gekko>?"

The younger gekko, formerly known as "The Boy", has not lived here for over a year. He's adult-aged now, and living on his own.

But, as I say, I was spoilin' for a fight.

"May I speak with <the younger gekko>?"

"No."

"I beg your pardon?"

"No. You may not speak with <the younger gekko>."

"Is there a time when he will be available for me to speak with?"

"I am speaking English. Perhaps you are having difficulty with that language?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"You may not speak with <the younger gekko>."

"Will there be a more convenient ..."

"I have forbidden you to speak with <the younger gekko>. There will be no convenient time for you to call. <The younger gekko> is no longer your concern. If you cannot adjust to that reality, then I suggest you seek counseling."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Depending on where you live, I can perhaps recommend a therapist for you to help you deal with your disappointment. It is clear you are having difficulty making this adjustment. I am sorry to be so harsh, but that is just how it must be. You are forbidden to speak with <the younger gekko>, and that's final."

"I will call back at a more convenient time."

"That would be inadvisable. I would have to find you and spank you if you do that."

The caller disconnected.

I felt much better.