This man is a liar. He is a bald-faced deceiver. He doesn't just prevaricate, he postvaricates, subvaricates and ubervaricates. There is more fabric in his fabrication than can be found in one of Scarlet O'Hara's largest hoop skirts. His fibs are so egregious, politicians study them in pre-law.
In short, I am disappointed.
Remember when this ... this ... pseudologue of a man ... exclaimed, gasped and burbled about how his microwave popcorn was so amazing that you would experience "most every kernel popped"?
Remember?
Well. Here's what came out of a 1.2 oz bag of Orville Redenbacher's "SmartPop" 100 calorie bags of microwave popcorn:
That is about half the contents of the bag.
He sucks.
Didn't he choke on a popcorn kernal in 1995?
Sure it was a kernel and not a colonel?
Kernal Redenbacher had a Major Malfunction?
Hahahahahahahahaha!
What an assbite. I say we put HIM in a microwave bag and see if HE fluffs up...
I rejoice dear gekko that your life has reached that pinnacle of perfection which leaves only your snackage as a target for complaint; in a world where pain and suffering are endemic your greatest misery is unpopped kernels of popcorn... truly, you are blessed!
I say we put HIM in a microwave bag and see if HE fluffs up...
I think he's been dead for a while. So I don't think there's going to be any fluffing... unless you stick a bag of popcorn in him first, I guess. Still... gross. And I am completely sick to think, hmmm, that's real Orville Redenbacker-flavored Orville Redenbacker popcorn.
I think the only way to get all the kernels popped is to burn half of them. I don't like burnt popcorn, so that method doesn't work for me.